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Books I Didn’t Have as a Kid (and one that I do)

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on February 13, 2012 in Humor, Lazy Post |

I fully expect that these are posted somewhere already, but I was cleaning out my computer today and wanted to share. They also made me think about one such book that you can have!

Why Is Mommy Moaning?

Whose Baby Is It?

Dude, They're Gonna Chop Your Balls Off!

Learn To Pimp

The Little Engine That Couldn't Because He Was a Worthless Bum Like Your Father

Horton Hires a Ho!

My Foot In Your Ass (Dr. Seuss's Wacky Book of Ass Whoopin's)

Let's Shit In The Woods

Run Away From Home (Your Parents Will Thank You)


While all the “books” above may be parody, I also wanted to mention the real book “Go the F**k to Sleep”. If you haven’t seen it, find it, read it, and laugh out loud!” It’s available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and many other sellers.

Go the Fuck to Sleep

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The Green Thing

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on November 19, 2011 in Historical Information, Humor, Lazy Post |

I haven’t posted anything here in awhile because I’ve been paying attention to other ventures. While this is a simply a gratuitous cut and paste, I thought that those that have been here may appreciate this.

BTW: I still do not own a microwave.

 

DO YOU REMEMBER?

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment.

 

The woman apologized to him and explained, “We didn’t have the green thing back in my day.”

 

The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today.  Your generation did not care enough to save our environment.”

 

He was right — our generation didn’t have the green thing in its day.

 

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over.  So they really were recycled.

 

But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

 

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

 

But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

 

Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind.  We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts — wind and solar power really did dry the clothes.  Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

 

But that young lady is right; we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

 

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

 

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.

 

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

 

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power.  We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

 

But she’s right; we didn’t have the green thing back then.

 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

 

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

 

But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service.

 

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.  And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

 

But isn’t it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

 

Please send this link on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smartass young person.

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Sock, or shoe?

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on July 21, 2011 in Poll, What people think |

This quick question came to me as I was getting ready to head out the door…

 

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Where I Want to Be

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on July 16, 2011 in Emotions, Journal, Ramblings, Self-Esteem, Truth |

Last night I apparently posted to Twitter:

I don’t like that I haven’t been where I want to be.

It was a random, late night, verge of sleep tweet, but it spawned a couple of responses essentially asking where is it that I want to be.

I want to be where…

  • I’m employed
  • I’m learning new things
  • I’m appreciated, and I know feel it
  • I finish posts that I start
  • I’m not so self-critical
  • my leg was never hurt
  • I don’t have to worry about how I’m paying bills next month, or this month for that matter
  • I’m back in shape
  • my dog doesn’t shed as much
  • my grass grows
  • I’m taking more photos… like I used to
The universe is funny. Randomly, as I’m writing this, iTunes choose to start playing The Ataris’ “In This Diary”. If you don’t know the song, the line that caught my ear was “I guess when it comes down to it, being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up”.

Where do I want to be? I want to be 20 years ago…but then I wouldn’t have my kids, so not really.

Where I need to go? I need to go working on growing up, because I’m tired of being grown up.

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Ouch

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on June 6, 2011 in Current Events, Emotions, Health |

I’ve tweeted a few times about the condition of my leg — how it’s healing, how painful it’s been, difficulty walking and sleeping — and though I’ve mentioned once or twice what happened some people still don’t know. So here it is….

On Sunday, May 22nd I was in Moorpark to watch the cyclists during Stage 8 of the Amgen Tour of California as they came off Balcom Canyon onto Stockton Rd. After the riders all went past I turned to run (literally) back to the car to jump in and head back to the finish line area in Thousand Oaks to watch the circuit portion of the race. As I went to propel myself with the first step off my left leg I felt (and perhaps heard) a “pop” in my left calf, immediately dropping me to the ground in intense pain.

After a minute of composing myself, I was able to make it to the car. Although it still hurt a lot, I felt up to going into Thousand Oaks for the circuit. I ended walking around the finish line area, bumping into several friends, seeing the end of the race, and probably not doing much to help my leg heal.

In the past I would have gone to the doctor/urgent care no later than the next day, but I’m still without insurance and no significant income so self-doctoring was my first option. For the next few days I did what experience and training told me was best; PRICE, Protect, Rest, Ice, Compress and Elevate. After 5 days noticed a bruise had started to form and I decided I needed to get it seen by an actual MD and headed to urgent care.

When the doctor came in to see me I told her everything that occurred, including the walking around at the ATOC. Her immediate reaction was to start writing up an order to have me get an MRI, but when I told her I don’t have insurance she crossed that out and began to examine my leg. She believed that there is definitely a tear in the muscle — as evident by the bruise which indicated deep internal bleeding — but without an MRI she couldn’t tell how severe it was. Her recommendation: PRICE, but if couldn’t walk heel-to-toe by Tuesday the 31st then I should call an orthopedic doctor and have it looked at. If it needed surgery the ortho would want to do it within about 10 days. (I can’t afford an MRI, but I could afford surgery?)

Although I couldn’t fully walk heel-to-toe last Tuesday I was much better than I had been. Today, I’m still nowhere near 100% though. My bruising is fading and most of it is a lovely yellow or golden-brown now. The swelling has significantly gone down, but I still don’t have full range of motion. I can’t walk normally and my calf muscle feels more cramped up now more than anything else, so I’m on a slow road to stretching it and getting back my range of motion.  I’m still spending most of my day reclining on the couch with my leg elevated.

This is actually a repeat injury, but much worse this time. Around 1-1/2 year ago I injured this same calf, but not nearly as bad. I don’t fully remember how it originally happened, nor how long it took to heal, but I do remember clearly being at the beach feeling it pull and I went to jump over a wave. Since that occurrence a year and half ago I’ve been more than idle on the leg; refereeing soccer, running, hiking…walking. This injury occurring from something ass simply as taking a step to just start to run back to the car is more than frustrating, it’s confusing, and I hate it.

I feel it getting better, but I fear it will not fully heal, that there will be significant scar tissue, and that I won’t be able to do some of the things I’ve enjoyed doing before this happened. Getting old sucks, and I don’t like being afraid.

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Where Can You Pee?

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on June 3, 2011 in Humor, Poll |

I wanted to distract you all for a minute or two as I’m off writing a (long overdue) post or two. This topic came up recently with a friend (don’t ask why) and we each held completely opposite opinions on the topic. I figured I’d leave it to you to cast your votes, and comment as well if ya like.

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Thought For The Day – “Lost Generation”

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on February 11, 2011 in Emotions, TFTD, Video |

I was cleaning out my e-mails today and came across this video. The video is only 1 minute & 44 seconds, but it’s brilliant. Make sure you read as well as listen to the whole thing; it’s worth it.

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward.  Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite…

The video was submitted by a 20-year old in the AARP contest “u @ 50″ and won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause.  So simple and yet so brilliant.

I take no credit for this video. It’s simply something I found worth sharing, but didn’t want to simply tweet since a tweet scrolls away too quickly.

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I’m Getting Old…Damn It

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on February 9, 2011 in Current Events, Emotions, Health, Historical Information, Truth |

Yesterday I posted about having to go to see my doctor for the sole purpose of going over some test results, and how I was worried about what those results might be; liver problem, heart trouble, cholesterol, or something I didn’t know about. And the winner is… Read more…

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Today’s Stress — Let’s Just Talk

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on February 8, 2011 in Current Events, Emotions, Health, Historical Information, Truth |

Earlier today on Twitter I mentioned that I have a doctor appointment for the sole purpose of talking to me and going over some test results. I’m really concerned about this visit. It’s atypical for a doctor to insist that you come into the office to tell you good news, and because of some recent events, my mind is busy anticipating what it could be. Read more…

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Groundhog Day Relationships

Posted by Fresh Start Dad on February 3, 2011 in Dating, Emotions, Family, Historical Information, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Self-Esteem |

One of my favorite movies is “Groundhog Day”. Fellow Stargate SG-1 fans should understand that my favorite episode is #406; “Window Of Opportunity”. Not only do I enjoy the acting and the storyline, but I also enjoy the premise. Reliving the same part of your life, the same events, over and over and over…until you get it “right”. An entertaining movie, as well as a premise for a TV show episode. But what happens when it’s not fiction? What happens when you keep repeating a portion of your life over and over? Specifically, when you keep repeating your love life because you haven’t gotten it “right”. Read more…

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